Why Book A Boudoir Session- To Remember

A client once shared with me right before her boudoir session that she wanted to REMEMBER who she was. She shared some difficult things she had been dealing with and what she had forgotten. The day-to-day can weigh on us which makes it so hard to remember but so easy to forget.

We forget …

  • We are HUMAN and have needs.
  • Rest is vital, and we deserve REST.
  • That we need some TIME to put back into ourselves.
  • Aging is NORMAL.
  • That we CAN’T do it all.
  • Our bodies are supposed to CHANGE.
  • The things you LOVED to do as a child.
  • LAUGHTER and PLAY are still important.
  • That our WORTH is inherent.
  • That we are WORTHY of documentation.

Work, kids, health, school, a partner, etc. are just some of the things that can consume ALL our time and energy. Sometimes we’re so busy just trying to make it through the day, the hour, the moment. We barely have time to eat and sleep before the cycle repeats. We’re exhausted and busy. Our to-do lists never end.

So, WHY book a photo session with mellBella?
To Remember who YOU are and NOT forget.

black and white close up of a woman's chest with her left hand and weddings bands in focus© mellBella Photography, 2023

In Her Own Words – Let’s Go

For her session, she chose to Add-On our Inferno Wings. They are 6 1/2 foot fierce, bold, and powerful with ostrich feathers. I love how them move and add such a moody prop to the boudoir portraits. Here’s what she had to say about her experience with mellBella Photography.

BEFORE her mellBella Boudoir Session

“Today, is the first day of a new me. It started as a gift for my husband, but leading up to it, I realized it’s a gift for me. It will help me see myself in a new light and embrace myself for everything that I am. I’m super nervous, but I’m ready to unleass my inner woman. Let’s goooo!”

AFTER

“The experience itself was a lot less nerve wracking than I expected. Mell did a wonderful job of helping me stay out of my head by talking me through all of the poses and just chatting in general. I would absolutely do this again and have told a few friends how awesome the experience and results were, and how great Mell is.”

How did you see yourself differently?

“I’m not sure I can even put it into words. I’m honestly a bit obsessed with these photos. Looking at them makes me feel beautiful and strong. I still can’t believe it’s me in those photos sometimes.”

Bright Pink Gradient to Purple to Blue Background with the text "Work In Progress" in black letters on yellow caution tape. The top left icon is a head with a heart inside of it, and the bottom icon is a heart with a plant growing inside of it.

2023 Intentions- Work In Progress

Obviously, I’ve never had much luck with New Year’s Resolutions (especially as I’m FINALLY writing this at the end of March). Every year though, I like to choose a few words that I want to remember or be my theme for the year. Honestly, I couldn’t choose, and this year, I was having trouble finding the words that fit together.

I thought about how many things I’m changing at the studio. I’m getting rid of some furniture and accessories, setting up new sets, updating some samples, etc. I’ve completed even more continuing education business and customer service courses. I finished up an Intro to Improv Class. I didn’t realize just how much fun I would have and how it’s helped my creativity in photography too. Can we just take a breath and recognize that the last few years have been EXTRA hard? HUG.

This year’s intention/theme is Work In Progress. Last year was WAP (Whole Ass Person), and this year is WIP. Whip it good! I feel like I’m in a growing season, and I have sooooo many things I want to do. But I’m only 1 person, and I have to focus on Progress NOT Perfection. Every client, I’ve had this year so far gets it. We’re pulled in so many directions that it feels like we’re constantly running and going nowhere. Kind of like the cartoon Scooby Doo where he gets scared and tries to run but stays in the same place.

White quote bubble icon with large light blue quotation marks on which the text reads: "Progress Not Perfection" with the mellBella Logo under it

A Work In Progress is more like partially controlled chaos. There’s multiple moving parts, and a certain order that they have to go in. It’s hard and at times uncertain, but there IS progress. So what does this have to do with boudoir photography?

I’ve been doing SOOOO much work behind the scenes, and there’s progress but it’s still a WIP. I’ve done my research, and no one else offers anything like it here. Let’s just say it goes beyond boudoir. Hang in there friends! It will be worth the wait.

Black and White Close Up of a women's face with a reflection to the left. She has pale skin and freckles and her hair is in a 1910s style piled on top of her head. She is looking up with a pensive and somewhat serious look on her face.©mellBella Photography, 2020

Hiding Inside My Body

Hello… it’s me, Mell Bell. I wanted to share a little story behind this self portrait. I took this back in 2020 on my birthday, and I loved how the stylist, Sarah Pearson, did my hair and makeup. I liked the lighting and moody feel, BUT… but… but….

I wanna talk about feelings… how was I feeling in my mind and my body. To sum it up, I was unsure and was trying to hide my body. I was trying to make myself smaller. I wanted to feel comfortable and confident, but I was so concerned with the lighting and the posing… BUT mostly, I was trying to hide of my body. I felt ashamed of the size of my stomach and my chest. I was sweating because self portraits are HARD to do too! I felt gross. I was struggling with feeling ok in my body exactly as it was.

black and white full length portrait of the photographer turned to the side wearing a lace bra and panty set and a long robe. Her body is half hidden behind a sheer black curtain, and she looks off to the right side of the image. Her expression is pensive and a little unsure.

I didn’t want to listen to my body, and I just wanted the image I created to show my dear clients that I understand the intimidating factors of getting photographed. I’m showing my worries in my clenched hand and tight lips. I didn’t care as much about my cellulite on my leg because hello heredity ?!?

So why? There’s always something much deeper under the surface as to the why behind the discomfort. This image was taken:

Shortly before I was finally diagnosed with ADHD after living my whole life with it, but not understanding a huge part of myself.

Almost 1 year after my last child was born. I was struggling with PMDD and only having about 10 days out of every month where I felt mostly ok and not like I had a the flu.

A few months into the COVID-19 pandemic, and I was trying to figure out how to still work and support my family.

A few months after the government mandated shutdowns, school closings, and moving to online school

And those are just the recent BIG things. My being raised in certain types of churches/belief systems, added even more layers of guilt and shame of just existing in my body. Add to that losing one parent when I was 13. Add to that growing up with a verbally and emotionally abusive parent.  Add to that not understanding why my eating habits were disordered.  And just keep adding…

Each person is complicated, and I think we all long for a space where we can feel safe, loved, appreciated, and that we’re not broken. Life is messy, and we can still grow and learn. Below is a self portrait I took on my phone right after I wrote this blog. My goal was to show joy, comfort, and of course some messiness.

black and white portrait of Mell Bell lounging across a large recliner chair with one arm on the arm rest and her two feet crossed at the ankles on the other arm rest. She is laughing and smiling so big that her nose is crinkled and her eyes are closed.

“People Have All Kinds Of Sides To Them, Mei, And Some Sides Are Messy. The Point Isn’t To Push The Bad Stuff Away, It’s To Make Room For It, Live With It.”  Jin Lee from the movie Turning Red

I’ll add to learn and grow too. Until next time friends, may you know that you are loved and lovable.

With Appreciation,

Mell Bell

Boudoir Photography Is For Men Too

For a long time, boudoir photography has been thought of as something for women only. I saw it in my own business at the beginning. One day, I started searching the web for male boudoir photography, and I found lots of celebrities and six pack abs. There were a few “dad bods” but no other real photographic representation for male boudoir. So unless you were famous or heavily muscled, the only other option was photography of men for comedic purposes.

To me, boudoir photography shows every BODY deserves to have beautiful, artful photos of themselves. Boudoir portraits that show their personality, style, and sensuality (if they choose). Basically, their je ne sais quoi (pronounced zhuhnuhse kwa), which means an indefinable, elusive quality, especially a pleasing one. I can’t fully describe in words everything that boudoir photography is or can be, so I’ll let my photography tell the story in the slideshow below.

Slideshow of male boudoir photos set to an upbeat instrumental song with a driving beat. Words appear on the screen describing each section of images. The sections are: Suit & Tie, Casual, Relaxed, Mysterious, Shirtless, Details, Daring, and Headshots. The video ends with the mellBella Photography website www.mellBella.com, photography by Mell Bell, and the mellBella logo.

My goal is to use boudoir photography to help each person of any gender to…
Feel more comfortable and confident in their body,
See themselves as extraordinary, beautiful, and worthy of love, AND
Have a unique, unforgettable experience with the photos to prove it!

A little backstory…

In the 2010s, I would get a few calls a year from men looking for male boudoir photography. But they were only looking for someone to take their photos as a joke. The main request was to do the “George Constanza.” Just look up “The Timeless Art of Seduction” which is in Season 8 Episode 5 “The Package” of the Seinfeld TV series. Basically, Kramer convinces George to create “enticing photos,” and they do a mock boudoir photo shoot. The final photo is printed large and is shown as an embarrassing joke.

Moving on to around 2016, when male boudoir photos or as some say “Dudoir” (dudeoir rhymes with boudoir) started to become more noticeable. But a large majority of these dudoir photos were done as a joke or simply to go viral on the web. There is nothing wrong with taking silly photos in boudoir photography, but I wanted to approach it differently.

A mutual friend referred my first official male boudoir client to me. From our first phone call, I told him that I had never done male boudoir photography before, but I was ready to try. I wanted my client to feel comfortable and confident at his photo shoot. Before the shoot. I did some research, spoke with photography peers, and made a plan ,which included a practice shoot with my husband. It went really well, and he even wanted to come back and do ANOTHER boudoir session. The rest is history. Yes, Boudoir Photography is for men too! Boudoir is for ALL gender identities.